Dog Lovers Only
My name is Watson, and I'll be your songwriter today.
may have thought that these songs were written by some person named,
"Jonathan Hoffman." That's what the cover says. It's not true. I
wrote them. Me and Cricket. I'm the lyricist. Cricket provides the
sex appeal. She's one hot dog.
this Hoffman guy wrote these songs, then how come his website is
called "Shelterdog Music." Do you think HE's a shelterdog??
He's not a shelterdog. I am. So there.
wrote these songs because people don't write about what's in the
heart of a dog. They mostly don't write about us at all. I wanted
to write about the stuff that really matters to me. Hoffman took
all the credit because he has the opposable thumbs and the word
processor. Also, he claims that the US Copyright Office only gives
copyrights to people. Hoffman doesn't exactly admit that I wrote
the songs, but he doesn't deny it, either. He just says I'm his
"muse," whatever that is. He also says that Cricket should get equal
credit. Maybe so.
why did I write these fourteen songs? I had a lot on my mind, that's
why. I didn't want to write cute little doggie woggy songs. Instead,
I took on the important issues facing dogs today.
example, I wanted to write about going to the lake to run around,
so people won't forget how important that is. It's REALLY important.
had a lot to say about guilt. I use guilt a lot, like when you leave
me alone in the house and go off somewhere, or when I'm stuck eating
kibble while you people are eating burgers. Or when you don't let
me on the comfy furniture. Unfortunately, guilt hasn't always worked
for me, but I hope that some of these songs will make you feel guilty
so I can get more of what I want.
wrote about going to the Vet. You may think it's no big deal. That's
because the Vet doesn't poke at you in weird places.
course, I wrote about love. People have jillions of love songs,
but those mean nothing to me. It's all in the nose, baby.
wrote about muttdom. Cricket and I don't have our papers. It doesn't
mean we're not full of love and fun. Actually, we're special breeds
combining the best of many kinds of dogs.
wrote about getting adopted. I got adopted from the Humane Society.
Cricket was in a classified ad in the newspaper. A good home is
a lot nicer place than where we were before. This Hoffman
guy may have stolen my songs, but he has a pretty nice home. Lots of dog treats and toys, and Cricket and I get to lounge around
on the sofas and beds, too.
don't write songs about this important stuff, so I had to do it
myself. With a little help. The musicians did a terrific job playing
my songs. They're pretty good, for people. I sang a bit of
blues on one song, too. We dogs get the blues sometimes, when our
people don't measure up to our expectations.
I hope you like my songs. I need a nap, now. Bye.